Married For Life

The title of the cute book that Brian gave me for our anniversary. 

 

 

 

He even turned down the corner of a page so that I would be sure to read it.  He said this story is what made him buy the book so I wanted to share it with all of you.

"Learn to put up with his little quirks - he's learned to put up with yours."

Lord knows that I am not perfect but rarely does Brian harp on me or point out my faults.  I think this is his way of telling me to shut up and quit nagging. :)

What was so incredibly cute about the whole thing was the inscriptions that he wrote.

This one says I hope this book inspires and gives you peace.

 

This one says

A Gift for: A lady I’m looking to spend the rest of my life with.

From: your loving husband.

If you click on the pictures you can enlarge them.  He doesn’t have the best handwriting. 

Isn’t that just darling!  I didn’t see what he wrote at first.  He was too excited to show me the page that he bookmarked but when I went back and took a good look at the book I found his writing.  He is such a sweet loving man and I am so lucky to have him. 

Show Me Those Pearly Whites

Yesterday we took the kids to the dentist for the very first time!  A while back, like when Lauren first started getting teeth, I asked the hygienist at my dentist when they usually like to see kids.  I was told around 3 or when they have most of their teeth.  So I waited and waited to make her an appointment even though I really think that dental hygiene is something that should be taught very early on and the dentist is just a natural part of that.  Anyways, there is a fairly new pediatric dentist in the same building as the kids’ pediatrician and after Colton’s last well check I picked up one of their brochures.  After reading on their website that they like to see kids as early as 1 year old I called that same day and made an appointment. 

{I forgot my camera so please excuse the bad cell phone pics!}

The office was VERY kid friendly, which I totally expected it to be.  The kids had fun in the waiting room. 

 

Lauren did so good.  She was very inquisitive and asked the lady a lot of questions.  She jumped right up on the table and waited for her turn.

The hygienist took her time and explained everything that she was doing to Lauren.


Colton wasn’t too sure about it all.  He didn’t want to get him teeth cleaned.  He was more interested in playing with the tools than he was with having them in his mouth!

After the cleaning the dentist came in and checked out both kids and gave them a clean bill of teeth health!  No cavities.  I did ask him about the wide gap in between Colton’s front teeth and he said that it will get smaller the more teeth he gets and hopefully it will close on it’s own.  If not we will worry about it when he is around 12 or so and he might need braces.  Good thing to know now so I can start saving. 

I was very pleased with this experience and I hope that this sets us up for good dental visits in the future.  I know that many people are afraid to go to the dentist and I don’t want my kids to be.

Happy Anniversary

7 years ago today

Book: Made To Crave

As I mentioned in my post yesterday I have been reading the book Made to Crave

This is not your typical weight loss book.  It does not include a plan to get you skinny, she does not give nutrition advice, nor does she tell you what to eat, when to eat or how much to eat. 

So I have to tell you all that I have picked up this book and put it down more times than I can count on one hand?  WHY you ask?   ...It is REAL, HONEST and has made me take a long look at myself and confront some of  my convictions towards food and exercise.  But what I love most about this book is that Lysa tells you what she went through and how she overcame it.  She is not judging or sitting on a high horse because she is now at her goal weight.  You can tell, through her words, that she deeply cares about her own physical and spiritual journey, as well as anyone who will ever read this book.

I really want to dig deeper in this book and write down and share all my thoughts and feelings that I had while I was reading this book but for now I will share one of my favorite quotes from the beginning of the book.

"Getting healthy isn't just about losing weight.  It's not limited to adjusting our diet and hoping for good physical results.  It's about recalibrating our souls so that that we want to change -- spiritually, physically, and mentally. And the battle really is in all three areas."

Letting Go

I was browsing through some of my old posts this morning because I want to do a 2011 goal update post.  I clicked on this one that ironically is me celebrating a 30.8 pound weight loss...the exact same number that I tweeted about just this morning.  I am so mad at myself for letting myself gain some weight back.  I was doing so well, was so motivated and that all went to pot when I had my sinus surgery.  I am not making excuses...I know exactly what happened.  Sure I lost my strength, my stride, my motivation when I had surgery.  My energy was gone and it took about 6 weeks for it to even start coming back...BUT what did I do when it started coming back?  Nothing.  I sat on my tail and did nothing.  I tried counting my calories again, I would walk here and there and maybe even a few days I jumped on the eliptical but nothing with the force and drive that I had back and March.  So where did that get me? Oh 10 pounds packed back onto my body. 

I am letting go of all of that now but I am using those feelings to drive myself and motivate myself closer to my goal weight.  I have been exercising everyday for the last couple of weeks.  Whether we go on a walk as a family or I do the eliptical once the kids are in bed I am up and moving and you know what?  IT FEELS GOOD!  I am not one that likes to sweat, or have my muscles ache in agony because I am pushing them to their limits but when I see that number drop on the scale I can't help but smile as I try to beat my time from the day before on the eliptical. 

I also have been reading the book Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst and I have been learning alot about myself and the way I look at food. 

I can tell you that every chapter I read feels like it was written especially for me.  I mentioned once before that I never really saw myself as an emotional eater but yet through reading the book and this journey of weight loss I have really been able to identify my struggles and justification of the food that I put into my mouth.  "I have been so good today" "I will do better tomorrow" "It is a special occasion" whatever and BLAH BLAH BLAH! These thoughts are sabotaging my goal of being at a healthy weight.

So off I go to burn off some calories.  I hope you all have a great day!

More

Each and every day Colton's personality is getting bigger and bigger and really shining through. He has started to shake his head yes or no, he is using the sign for "more" and as much as I hate it he is letting me know he wants something by doing this horrible half grunt half scream thing! He has several words in his vocabulary and is usually even very good about saying thank you!

My brother was over the other night and shot this video of him. He does sign as well as says "more"

He doesn't say "thank you" when asked but he runs away so fast I think he was afraid my brother would take back whatever it was he have him. :) normally he will say it without me asking.

Lauren-isms

Why is there a pumpkin on my face when I do this?

Summer Vacation

Last week we loaded up the van and headed out on our first official Family Summer Vacation. 

 

Way earlier this year, Sonya, asked me to join her in St. Louis for the NKOTBSB concert.  I was super excited and agreed that it would be a fun time.  Then a conflict came up with my job and I wasn’t able to go.  I was so disappointed but she suggested that we meet up for a little vacation!  That was so much better anyways because we ended up getting to spend more time together. 

 

We wanted a place that was in the middle of where we both live so we settled on Mark Twain Landing.  It is this cute little camping spot that also has condos.  Our 2 bedroom condo was so large!  It fit all 6 of us perfectly.  There was a large master bedroom that Brian, the kids and I used, another bedroom and bathroom, a kitchen and a dining area. 

 

At the resort they had a water park called Splash Landing.  It was the perfect size, not too small and not too large, with lots of things to do. 

There were 5 water slides.  Brian and Lauren had a blast going down those.  I was amazed at how brave Lauren was.  These are big slides.  There were two of them that she wasn’t tall enough to go down but she sure tried to talk them into it. 

 

 

The one in the picture below, the red and blue round thing, was the only slide that I went down…why I have no clue…it was the closest I guess.    Anyways while I was standing in line I heard a little boy refer to it as the “toilet bowl” I should have known immediately that I was in trouble.  You climb all the way up these crazy windy stairs and go down the slide which is insanely fast. Then you comb out into the bowl part and go round and round and round for what seems like forever before it drops you into a very deep pool below.  It was fun but I only went down it once. 

 

There were two kids areas.  This is the largest and coolest. The other area was a wading pool that had a little slide that looked like a frog.  Lauren and Colton both LOVED that slide.  They went down that the most. 



Friday night after the water park we headed back to the condo and Sonya and Kevin fixed us some really yummy burgers.  They had pineapple and mozzarella cheese inside of them!  I think the best part was the Hawaiian Buns they served them on.

 

Saturday we went to Hannibal and walked around the town for a while.  It has been years since I had been there so it was neat to see Mark Twain’s boyhood home.

 

 

We saw Becky and Tom Sawyer.  Lauren was mesmerized by her dress. 

I thought this mail box was super cool!


Sonya and Lauren standing over a lookout onto the Mississippi River.

Saturday night it was my turn to show off my cooking skills.  I made them Lasagna and Red Velvet Cake.

 

Sunday morning we got all ready to head back home.  Sonya had asked me to take some pictures of her and Kevin so we headed to a beautiful spot on Mark Twain Lake by the dam. 

We tried to get a group shot and that proved to be quite comical.  Colton wasn’t having it, we were using the self timer feature on my camera and I had set it to take several pictures in a row.  We had several funny outtakes and this was the best one.  I certainly need to invest in a tripod.  I sat the camera on the railing and I was just praying that it would stay put! 


The two Sonyas!

We had such a great time.  It was nice to get away and relax for several days as well as to get to know Sonya and Kevin a little bit better. We went to the zoo together last October and chat regularly through email and twitter and of course our blogs but being face to face just makes it so much nicer.  I hope that we can do this on a more regular basis! 

 

If you would like to read Sonya’s post about our vacation go here.  She has tons more pictures of the lake and the condo! 

The Space Needle Part 1 - Seattle

My posts lately have been a bit heavy.  So I thought that I would share some pictures from our Seattle trip that I had not yet posted.

The Space Needle

 

Simply Titled: 8

I am reminded all too often how short life can be. When I walk down my hall way and pass the memorial pictures of my brother. When I hear Lauren tell someone what her full name is, when I see my nephew's face. These are all constant reminders that my brother is no longer here.  That is has been over 8 years since I spoke to him, that it has been over 8 years since I heard him laugh or call me "sis"  8 Christmases, 8 Valentine's Days, 8 birthdays.

Recently my mom has been in the processing of moving.  She called me one day this week and said that she had found a camera with undeveloped film in it.  When she opened the envelope after having it processed she was amazed at what had been on that film.  Pictures from almost 9 years ago...the last Halloween that Paul spent with his children, the last time my mom would ever hear him tell her "happy birthday" Pictures that he had taken of his prized Dale Earnhardt and Popeye collections.  Things that upon seeing them made a flood of emotions and memories all come rolling back.  And now, to show up around the 8th anniversary of his passing, a time capsule to remind us of the wonderful man that he had been. 

Grief is an odd thing. It never really gets easier. It may lift for a season but then when you least expect it, WHAM, there it is hitting you upside the head when you least expect it.
Even though it's been 8 years since my brother died, the pain that cuts deep into my heart is still there as if it just happened and is a raw opened wound.  This year it has been exceptionally hard for me.  As Lauren grows bigger and starts asking questions that I don't really have the answers to it really makes me reflect on many things that happen in life.


To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.  A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted. A time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break down and a time to build up.  A time to weep an da time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance.  Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

Lauren-isms

I think a Lauren-ism post is LOOONG overdue.  This girl is cracking me up.  I have been forgetting to jot them down lately :(  I know that she has said so many more funny things!

Can I get my ears poured so I can wear earrings?

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

My swimming suit is up my crackit.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Colton don't pull on my dress you will break it.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Momma, remember me to brush my teeth in the morning.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Momma, I got a hanger nail.

Puzzle Pieces

I have started to feel better after sharing my last post.  It helps to talk through things and vent, even on a blog.  I am a talker...I like to share things, so keeping everything all bottled up was not a good idea.  I think letting everything that was bothering me fester up inside was making it worse.  I feel like part of the weight has been lifted off my shoulders and now that I have been open and honest I can move forward to fix things and change the way I feel. 

One of the reasons that I like to talk through things is because I usually find out that I am not alone.  Talk with any woman about parenting and marriage and you are bound to find similiarities between your life and theirs.  It is nice to be able to talk about things that they have went through or are currently walking through.  And it is very reassuring and comforting, often I can get some good advice or maybe even offer some of my own! 

I also have been reading a couple of books and even listening to them on tape.  I drive so far to work that I can knock out a book on tape in just a couple of days.  Through reading and listening to these books I have been doing a lot of soul searching over the past several weeks.  Trying to figure out what is missing, what I want to change and how I would really like for my life to be and you know what...I really do love my life.  Sure there are some gaps and missing pieces but I wouldn't change what I have now.  I just need to continue putting the pieces of my life puzzle together.

Confession

It has been 10 days since I have posted anything and I think this is the longest that I have ever gone with out blogging since I started.  I have a confession to make, I have been struggling lately in many areas in my life.  In fact I have rewritten this post over and over in my head and each time I go to type it out I just can't seem to say exactly what I am feeling.  Lately I have been stressed out to the max and have found myself questioning things that I normally do not even think twice about.  I told a friend recently that I feel almost as if I am having a mid life crisis only way too early!  Her response was "those are only fun if you get a convertible" :)

I think that I am finally at a place to write all of this out...maybe...it is still kind of jumbled in my head and there is way too much to put all in one post.

You stay at home moms are my heros. I just do not know how you do it. I used to think that is what I wanted, to be a stay at home mom.  I have longed and yearned for that ever since I went back to work after having Lauren.  But honestly I don't think I could do it.  Being a mom is WAY harder than the job I get paid to do.  And just to keep it real I am going to spill my soul and tell you that I want to pull my hair out after just two hours with my kids. From the minute I walk in the door there is the whining and the crying and the constant pulling on me and it doesn't stop until they are asleep.  I love my children but there are days when I want to come home from work and just have a nice dinner and evening but my children always have other plans.  I can't even fix dinner without stopping five hundred times. While I should find this endearing that the kids miss me during the day and they want my attention all I do is resent them. I feel like I spend most of my day babysitting adults and when I come home all I want is some peace and quiet or at least not whiny children. I have found myself telling Brian over the last several weeks that I don't even want to come home anymore. My relationship with my children is suffering and so is my marriage.  I am trying my very best to take things in stride.  I know that this unbearable heat is making everyone tired and miserable but there are days when I think to myself I just can't handle this. 

I have not been a very good mother or wife lately.  Like I said before I am stressed and I find myself taking it out on the people that I love most in this world even though it is not entirely their fault and by their fault I mean they can't help what they do.  

I have found myself lying in bed unable to sleep thinking about things in my life right now that I would like to change.   The main thing that I think I need to change is my attitude towards all of this.  Frankly speaking it SUCKS!  I have a choice to make.  I can choose to be miserable or I can choose to be happy, roll with the punches and take the good with the bad.  I think I will take the latter I just need to figure out exactly what that looks like and how I am going to do it. 

So I am asking for help.  What do you all do to stay sane?  How do you keep from losing yourself?  How do you keep the spark alive in your marriage? How do you fit "me" time into a busy schedule?