The Motions

I just have so many things on my mind these days. When I lay down at night my mind is racing. I get can’t Jennifer and Stellan off of my mind. My heart is breaking for this mama whose sweet baby boy is fighting for his life. When I rock Lauren to sleep at night I have been using this time to pray and thank God for the beautiful miracle he has given me. I hug her so tightly and give her so many kisses, not really any more than I did before, but I make a conscience effort to not take them for granted. There are so many mommies whose babies are in heaven instead of their arms or who are sick like Stellan. My heart aches for all of these mommies.


Another thing that has been on my mind lately is my relationships. My relationship with my husband, my relationship with my daughter, my relationship with my friends and most importantly my relationship with God. I am nowhere near where I would like to be in my relationship with God. Angie, from Bring the Rain, wrote a wonderful post on this exact subject. God must have told her that I would be reading it!! I have read this post a couple of times and I plan on reading it over and over because I know that God has something to tell me. I have spent more time in prayer this week than I have in a really long time and while I was praying so hard for Stellan, God is also showing me things in my own life. I listen to K- Love Christian radio and this song has been on for a while now and I looked up the lyrics today so that I could really meditate on them.

Motions By Matthew West
This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?

Take me all the way (take me all the way)
Take me all the way (cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
Take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
Take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?

Take me all the way (take me all the way)
Take me all the way (I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go)
Take me all the way (through the motions)
Take me all the wayI don't wanna go through the motions

I don’t want to go through the motions and just be mediocre, in ANYTHING in my life, but I am feeling so overwhelmed. I want to be the best mother, wife, friend and Christian that I can be. I am searching and seeking many things to try and accomplish this but I really don’t even know where to begin. I am reading books, searching the internet and spending more time in prayer, praying that God will show me his path for my life. Right now I feel that I am failing. Failing at being a good wife when my husband and I get upset with one another and raise our voices, which seems to be pretty frequent here lately. Failing at being a good mother when I get frustrated with my daughter for stupid things that are MY FAULT and not hers. Failing at being a good friend when I feel guilty for feeling like all I am doing is giving and not getting what I need in return. Failing at being a good Christian when I don’t make it to church or spend the time reading the Bible like I should. Failing myself because I just can’t seem to keep it all together.

Not Me! Monday - Stellan Style

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This week we are all doing our Not Me! Monday Posts just a little different. Stellan Style!! As you know, MckMama's youngest has been in the hospital for a week with severe heart complications. I know that while MckMama was pregnant with sweet Stellan that he had these same complications. I know that the God we serve is miraculous and he made Stellan well once and he can do it again. I know that God has big plans for this little guy!! He has already touched so many lives and I believe that this is only the beginning of what God has in store for him.

This week I did not spend pretty much every conscience moment thinking about and praying for Stellan.

I did not forward her blog to a bunch of people and ask them to pray for this woman and her child who I don't know in real life. :) I did not put Stellan on our prayer chain at church.

I did not tell several of my coworkers about Stellan after they caught me crying at my desk for the upteenth time.

I did not get so caught up in creating Stellan's name out of candy for his name gallery that I forgot to eat lunch.

I did not get so overwhelmed while reading one of MckMama's post, (while I was at work), that I locked myself in the bathroom and fell onto my knees in prayer for this sweet little boy.

I did not lose sleep because I was so bothered by all of this that I spent most of the night in prayer for Stellan. I was not woke up in the middle of the night several times.

I did not drive my husband crazy with all of the Twitter updates going off on my cell phone, and I did not drive him crazy by constantly checking for updates to MckMama's blog.

I did not pray that God would heal him and make his heart completely whole. I did not pray that God would give the doctor's wisdom in how to heal this little baby and I did not pray for comfort and peace for the entire MckMama family.

I did not have a dream last night where I met President Obama and that I asked him to take a picture with Stellan's name and I MOST CERTAINLY did not think, after he agreed to take a picture with Stellan's name, maybe I should have voted for you!! :)

Please visit this blog to check out all of the other Not Me! Monday - Stellan Style. She is graciously hosting this week and will notify MckMama of the Mr.Linky she put up.

MckMama and Stellan I am praying so very hard for healing. I have been on my knees every chance I get this week taking you both to God in prayer. Thank you for sharing your story and may God be with you.

Treasure These Moments

While I was at work today I had a lady ask me about the pictures on my desk. If you see my desk you would know why one of my coworkers refers to it as “Lauren Land.” There are at least 6 different pictures of her arranged on my desk. All of them are from different ages ranging from 6 weeks to the most current one I have which was from Christmas. The lady and I got into a discussion about how special children are and how quickly time flies. The lady was telling me that her daughter is now 23 and I am just so amazed that Lauren is 14 months old; I can’t imagine what I will be like when she is 23! She told me a story about how every morning when she would drop her off at school she would think “she’ll never be younger than she is today.” That is so true. I often tell myself that she will only be this age once. Mostly in the middle of the night when she wakes up and I am rocking her back to sleep. I try not to get upset because I am sure that one day in the not so near future she won’t need mommy to rock her at all and I will miss these days. So I treasure them. While I am rocking her I take in her smell, I hold her tight and breathe in her scent and try to commit all of these things to my memory because “she’ll never be younger than she is today”

Nothing melts a mommy’s heart more than the smile of their child. Lauren has several different types of smile. There is her “I am happy smile,” her “I am ornery smile,” her “laughter smile,” and her “I am having fun smile.” Which ever smile I see on her face I just take a minute to stop, (take a picture if I can) and treasure the moment. I know that over the years her face is going to change, and so is her smile. They both have changed so much over the last 14 months. I am so blessed to have such a beautiful, wonderful child and I thank God for her every day.

My Random thoughts for the day

I am still praying for Stellan and constantly checking for updates. I follow MckMama on Twitter which helps me stay in touch. Poor little guy has been through so much this week and I am praying that God will completely heal him. MckMama says that he “has at least one extra pathway that shouldn't be there, causing the electrical impulses on his heart to circle around too quickly, before giving his heart enough time to fully charge, or fully fill with blood” Wouldn’t it be awesome if God completely healed this little baby’s heart completely and make it whole! As many people that follow her blog and have heard about this little guy’s story, I don’t think that it would be showing off at all!! I think it would be an awesome testament to what God can do and would be an awesome way to witness to all of the non believers that read her blog or have heard Stellan’s story.

My 9 month old nephew has a UTI. He and his momma spent last night in the ER trying to figure out why he was running a high fever without really any other symptoms. Poor baby, I hope he feels better soon.

My cousin’s birthday was yesterday, my nephew’s birthday is today and my niece’s birthday is tomorrow. MAN is this a busy week!

I got a promotion at work this week! I am so excited. I start my new position in a week.

I have been reading a lot of books lately. Some on marriage and some on parenting. I am currently reading “the Mother Load” by Mary M Byers and so far I really like it. It is written by a Christian woman so it quotes a lot of scriptures which I really like. I ordered a few other books today from Amazon. “Sacred Marriage” “Sacred Parenting” and then two devotional books all written by Gary Thomas.

I am really hoping that we don’t get the snow that they are calling from. It is the end of March!!! We shouldn’t be having snow! 

Reminiscing

Tonight I am going with a dear friend of mine while she tries on wedding dresses for the very first time. She and her fiance are getting married June of 2010. Every time a friend or family member gets married I always am taken back to when Brian and I got married.
It was August 28, 2004. The weather the day of was perfect but it rained horribly the night before. Actually the place that we had our rehearsal dinner had an awful leak in one of the windows and my, then 4 year old, nephew had great fun playing in the large puddle that it made on the floor by our tables.
The ceremony was beautiful and I remember how choked up I got while saying my vows when we came to "til death do us part" My oldest brother Paul had passed away 1 year and 1 month prior to my wedding so that part was very touching to me. I remember staring into Brian's eyes during the songs that were played and just looking at this man that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I love him so dearly and it is nice to think back on how it all started.
I remember that the car we drove to the reception over heated. Luckily we made it to the reception without having to be towed!
I remember our first dance to the song "Amazed" by Lonestar. How we held each other so close, so happy, so in love!
I remember dancing with my dad to "Love Without End Amen" by George Strait, a song my brother Paul often sang to my dad on Father's Day in years past.
I remember dancing with my brother Aaron for a special brother/sister dance.
I remember how I only got to eat the little bit of cake that Brian fed me and that was it. Before I knew it, the night was over and all the cake had been boxed up and given away. My mom made our cake and it was amazing. It was way to big! But it was what we wanted and she greatfully obliged and made us this huge three seperate cakes with several teirs and a purple fountain to boot!!
I remember how tired I was that night driving back to our apartment for the first time as husband and wife and how I loved saying "my husband" and how it was so weird to say my new name outloud.

It was such an amazing day and it is funny to think of all the things that have happened in the past (almost) five years. We have moved twice, bought our first house, and celebrated the birth of our first child.

Working Mom Guilt

This is something that I struggle with everyday. I don't necessarily work because I want to but I do like my job and I do like having adult interaction on a daily basis. However, every morning when I drop Lauren off at daycare I just want to cry. Why?? because I hate leaving her knowing that I am not going to see her for over 10 hours and that the ladies at the daycare see her more than I do. That kills me. When Lauren was born it was one of those love at first sight moments. Actually even before she was born I knew that I would do anything for her and I wanted to be the best mom ever. I loved being at home with her on my maternity leave and it was very hard for me to go back to work. Next week it will be one year since that first day that I had to leave her. I cried every day for the first week and have shed tears many other days. So many things have happened since then. She likes going to daycare every day, which eases my pain a little bit. She enjoys playing with the other kids and she genuinely cares for the ladies that take care of her and I know that they love her as well. One of them even tells me that she is so special to her and that she reminds her of her oldest daughter. All of these things I hold very near and dear to my heart since these ladies are helping Brian and I raise our daughter. I have been reading countless books on how to balance work life, home life, spiritual life and myself. It is very difficult for me to go out and have fun because I feel like if I am not working then I need to be spending all of my time with Lauren. But I have found out here recently that I need to make time for myself and time for my marriage. Brian and I had our first date night in a really long time last weekend and while I found it hard to relax and let go because I was thinking about Lauren, it was nice to get away and just be alone with him. I knew that Lauren was in great hands with my dad and step mom but we still came home pretty early. :) I just couldn't help it. I feel that when I am not spending time with her that I am a bad mom but then there are some days that I just want some time to be by myself and veg out in front of the TV and then I feel horribly guilty for even thinking that my TV shows are even that important. I just feel so overwhelmed and it is really getting to me. So I have been trying to make little changes in the way I go about things. Trying to spend more alone time with Brian is very important to me right now and we are going to make it happen on a more regular basis. I am also going to spend a little me time with my best friend on Saturday. I think that by reorganizing my schedule just a bit that I will be able to be a happier mom that really can devote some very precious time to my daughter whom I love with all of my heart.

Stellan

I am one of those women who get's emotionally attached to the blogs I follow. My husband thinks that I am a little crazy! :) I feel as though MckMama is a friend of mine even though I have not actually met her in person. So I am a person who really does pray for the prayer requests of the bloggers who willingly share their lives with me over the internet. I have been praying for Stellan ever since I first read that he was in the hospital. I have been sick with worry for this precious boy and my heart is breaking for his mother. Another blogger suggested that we bring back Stellan's Gallery and I thought that was a brilliant idea so here is my contribution.



I wish I could do more but since I am far away and obviously not a doctor all I can do is pray.

Praying for Stellan

My heart is breaking right now for MckMama. She posted early this morning that she had to take her youngest son, Stellan, to the ER. When she was pregnant with Stellan the doctors told her that he wasn't going to live, that he had a heart condition and he would surely die. But God interviened and healed this precious little boy. Out of nowhere the condition he was diagnosed with in the womb has returned. There hasn't been an update since about 10 am and I have been thinking about them all day. I just pray that God will heal this little boy yet again. God has shown himself to this precious family before and I know that he can do it again. MckMama, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your precious Stellan.

Dulce De Leche Cheesecake

Ingredients


Crust

1 cup crushed vanilla wafers
3 tbsp butter, melted


Filling

3 (8 oz) packages cream cheese
1 cup granulated sugar
2 tbsp all purpose flour
2 tsp vanilla
3 eggs
1/3 cup whole milk
½ cup ready made or homemade Dulce de leche sauce (I used Tastefully Simple Tempting Caramel Sauce)


Instructions

Preheat oven to 400 F

Mix the crust ingredients together and press into the bottom of a lightly buttered 9 inch spring form pan. Place pan on a baking sheet and bake for 6-8 minutes (watch this because it burns easily) Remove from oven and cool to room temperature.

Lower oven temperature to 325 F

With an electric mixer beat cream cheese, sugar and flour together until well mixed and smooth. Add vanilla and beat until smooth. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat until smooth and then add the milk and mix until well blended.

Measure ½ cup of the cheesecake batter and pour into a small bowl. Add Dulce de Leche sauce and stir until well combined.

Pour plain batter over crust. Top with Dulce de Leche batter by placing rounded spoonfuls over the cheesecake batter and gently swirl into plain batter with the tip of knife or spatula.

Bake in preheated 325 F oven for 45-55 minutes or until the center is almost set. Remove from oven and gently run a metal spatula around the rim of the pan to loosen cheesecake. Let cool 20-25 minutes before covering and placing in the refrigerator. Refrigerate 4 to 6 hours or overnight before serving. If desired, serve each slice drizzled with a little bit of Dulce de Leche sauce.


Dulce de Leche Cheesecake


Here is the instructions on how to make your very own Dulce de Leche sauce. The first couple of times I made this cheesecake I did this and it didn’t quite turn out how I expected. I cooked it for as long as it said and it still wasn’t the right consistency and then the second time I used the left over sauce from before and microwaved it until the color got darker and it became thicker, which was better but I am still experimenting with what Dulce de Leche sauce to use. The last two times I used Tastefully Simple Tempting Caramel Sauce and it came out pretty good! I have searched in the grocery store to find it already made but I have had no luck in locating it.



Ingredients

4 cups whole milk
1 ¼ cups granulated sugar
½ tsp baking soda
2 tbsp butter

Instructions

In a heavy bottomed 5 to 6 quart saucepan over medium-high heat, stir the milk, the sugar and the butter until sugar is dissolved and mixture is boiling. Stir in the baking soda. Reduce heat to low and simmer, stirring occasionally until mixture is golden brown and reduced to about 2 cups, about 1 ½ hours. Pour through a fine strainer into a bowl; discard residue. Let cool. Use immediately or refrigerate for later. Before serving, reheat in a saucepan on medium low heat or heat slightly in the microwave to make it pour able.

Corned Beef

In honor of St. Patrick's day we had corned beef for dinner last night, yes I know I was a day late on that!! But I decided that I was going to make it from scratch, which takes 10 days. My husband's best friend is kind of a chef. His cooking is nothing short of amazing and every year for the past several years he will make corned beef. Well a couple of years ago he moved and so this tradition was lost and I wanted to start it up again. I must say that I was worried that it wouldn't turn out right or that it wouldn't be as good as his. My dear, sweet, husband said mine was better!! If he was being truthful I will never know but I will take that complement!!

Corned Beef

Ingredients

• 2 quarts water
• 1 cup kosher salt
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 2 tablespoons saltpeter
• 1 cinnamon stick, broken into several pieces
• 1 teaspoon mustard seeds
• 1 teaspoon black peppercorns
• 8 whole cloves
• 8 whole allspice berries
• 12 whole juniper berries
• 2 bay leaves, crumbled
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 2 pounds ice
• 1 (4 to 5 pound) beef brisket, trimmed
• 1 small onion, quartered
• 1 large carrot, coarsely chopped
• 1 stalk celery, coarsely chopped

Directions

Place the water into a large 6 to 8 quart stockpot along with salt, sugar, saltpeter, cinnamon stick, mustard seeds, peppercorns, cloves, allspice, juniper berries, bay leaves and ginger. Cook over high heat until the salt and sugar have dissolved. Remove from the heat and add the ice. Stir until the ice has melted. If necessary, place the brine into the refrigerator until it reaches a temperature of 45 degrees F. Once it has cooled, place the brisket in a 2-gallon zip top bag and add the brine. Seal and lay flat inside a container, cover and place in the refrigerator for 10 days. Check daily to make sure the beef is completely submerged and stir the brine.

After 10 days, remove from the brine and rinse well under cool water. Place the brisket into a pot just large enough to hold the meat, add the onion, carrot and celery and cover with water by 1-inch. Set over high heat and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to low, cover and gently simmer for 2 1/2 to 3 hours or until the meat is fork tender. Remove from the pot and thinly slice across the grain.


I wish I had pictures to post with this. But before I knew it, it was cut up and we were all chowing down on it!

Plagiocephaly

When Lauren was born I had a rough delivery. I was in labor for 18 ½ hours with 2 ½ hours of pushing. Her head was tilted ever so slightly making it very hard for her to come out and my doctor ended up having to deliver her by using forceps. She must have been lying funny in utero because the right side of her head has always been slightly misshaped. It was actually really flat on that one side, which the doctors all told me was normal and it would even itself out. We even had latch issues in the beginning due to it. The way the nurse explained it to me is that due to her head shape she might have a headache and that would cause her not to want to lay a certain way to eat. It took about two weeks for her to be able to nurse in a normal position.

At her very first visit with the pediatrician he told us that she had torticollis, which is a condition that causes a baby's head and neck to tilt to one side. (probably caused to her being cramped in my tiny uterus) They often favour turning their head to one side and this definitely didn’t help the shape of Lauren’s head. I definitely noticed that when she was on her back she would prefer to always look to her right. Even when you were holding her that is the way she would turn her head most often. My mom told me to watch how I laid her down and to rub the back of her head, which we did but it just wasn’t improving.

I asked about it at pretty much every one of her pediatrician visits. He kept telling us that it would get better with tummy time and when she started sitting up by herself. Finally at her 6 month check up we were referred to a cranio facial surgeon at St. Luke’s and went to our first visit on August 27,2008. He said that it is a mild case of Plagiocephaly (abnormal head shape) and gave us some exercises to do with her to see if we can strengthen the muscles in her neck so that she won’t favour lying with her head turned to the right. I was horribly disappointed in this doctor. We saw him for about 10 minutes (if that) and all he did was put his hand on her head and tell us she needed a helmet. He didn't do any x-rays, or measurements or anything. He told us that with just doing the exercises he gave us we would probably only see a 5% improvement. We were told that she would have to wear the helmet for at least 2 months and it would have to stay on for 23 hours a day 7 days a week. And with all of that it would probably improve her head shape only about 30% and she would probably always have some sort of flat spot. I left this appointment more distraught than when I went in. Brian and I talked it over and we weren’t really comfortable with putting her in a helmet. They are really expensive and most often not covered by insurance. With it not being a guarantee to fix it and really not knowing exactly how long she would be in the helmet we decided to do the exercises and go from there. The exercises he gave us were awful to do and Lauren hated them. We did them for about two weeks and then I decided to consult my chiropractor.

I see the chiropractor all the time myself but I never thought of taking Lauren. The way that she explained things made me feel better. She said that the helmet would only correct her head shape and not correct the underlying problem, i.e. the torticollis and cranials in Lauren’s skull. So she is treating her neck as well as the cranials in her head. The chiropractor said that the cranial on the right side of Lauren’s head was pretty much obliterated, like it wasn’t even there. She said that could be due to how she was lying in my uterus or even from the traumatic delivery. She gave us different stretches and a massage technique to use on the cranial that needs fixed. We have been taking her since September and in the beginning we saw her twice a week for Lauren to have an adjustment, and then we went to once a week. Now we go every other week so I know things have got to be getting better. Right from the start we saw some improvement and then there were a few months where it seemed to stall and I didn’t really see any signs that it was working. Her measurements weren’t changing and I was getting a little frustrated. But within the last month or so I have really started to see major differences in Lauren’s head shape. I still can feel a flat spot but it is changing and shrinking!! Even a friend of mine at church on Sunday mentioned that she thought Lauren’s head was really starting to round out.

Not Me Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.


One of the bloggers that I follow came up with this brilliant idea of having a confession, without really confessing! Kind of a way to get it all out and not really feel guilty for any short comings. Thanks MckMama.

So here it goes. My first official Not Me Monday.

Last week was really crazy. It was Brian’s birthday and my mother was in the hospital. He asked me all week if I would make a cheesecake for his coworker who has been so good to him. I absolutely did not go to bed the night I was supposed to make the cheesecake early because I was completely exhausted and had tried to get Lauren to sleep for almost an hour, not me. I did however make it the next day in time for him to take it to work. I guess one day late is better than never!

I did not let Lauren sleep in her clothes without a bath one night because she fell asleep early and I didn’t want to wake her, nope not me.

I did not joke about Lauren becoming a rapper because I took a picture of her and it looks like she has “hip hop” hands, as one of my friends referred to them as. I also certainly did not joke about this with my future sister in law as we were waiting for my mother to come out of a procedure that she had done at the hospital.




I do not get jealous when Lauren constantly says “Da Da” and hardly ever says “Mama” unless she doesn’t want to go to bed. Brian is so good with her I just want to know that she knows my name.

Friday the 13th

Man has this been a crazy, crazy week. Monday was Brian's birthday, but at least the celebrating was done pretty much over the weekend and we just had a nice quiet night at home. Tuesday I woke up not feeling well. I am not sure what was going on but I had a touch of the flu or something. Wednesday wasn't too bad. For the first time since November I got my hair cut! It looks so much better. :) But then Wednesday evening I got a call from my mom saying she was in the ER. She was having a bit of chest pains and they thought she could be possibly having a heart attack. Well after a bunch of tests and an over night stay in the hospital she is home and resting. NO HEART PROBLEMS!! Thank God. So here we are to the end of the week and it is Friday the 13th. I am not a superstitious person but man today didn't start out the best. Thankfully the rest of the day has gone smoothly and I am ready for the weekend.

Here is a cute picture of Lauren! My mom bought her these glasses and even though she tried to eat them they sure look cute on her.

Serious Life Magazine

I wanted you to know about this publication I’m a part of called Serious.Life Magazine. They just published the March issue today, and I am in their Featured Blog Directory. It’s a very high quality magazine… you’ll really like it.


The magazine includes a lot of great content from bloggers you’ll appreciate, as well as great features, photos and other content. The magazine is owned and published by a family who have seven kids, three adopted and one who has Leukemia (www.riggsfamilyblog.com). The magazine gives away a bunch of ads to charities and ministries. Besides great articles on interesting people, there is a lot about family, adoption, personal finance, spiritual life, humor… all sorts of “life” topics.


Again, the subscription is FREE, and I know you’ll enjoy the magazine, so take a minute to check it out and sign up to get future issues. www.seriouslifemagazine.com

Profoundly Seth

One of the blogs that I follow is having a contest to help raise money for two very worthy charities. The Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Organization and Rhyan's Hope. Both of these organizations are very near and dear to this family's heart. They have been so much the last two years, first losing their precious son Eli, and then their son Seth being born deaf. To read their story please use this link, Profoundly Seth.

They are giving away an AMAZING prize package. You get a ticket for each increment of $10 donation. You can win a choice between two digital SLR cameras, AND a memory card to go with that camera, AND a super cool camera strap, AND a camera bag, AND Photoshop Elements 7, AND a 12x18 canvas print from IPRINTCANVAS!!! What an awesome prize pack to benefit some pretty awesome organizations.

Wise Men Say

One of Lauren's favorite toys is a bear that is dressed like Elvis and sings part of the song "I Just Can't Help Falling In Love With You" She carries this bear around with her everywhere and she knows how to push his foot to make him sing, over and over again. Actually one of her favorite things to do is to push him just to hear the beginning of the song. So we hear Wise Men Say several times in a row. She recently has started wanting us to dance with her when this song is playing. Mostly Brian. The first time that I saw this interaction my heart just melted. Here was the man I love, that I created this wonderful being with, just holding her tight while she is clutching this bear and her head on his shoulder swaying back and forth. It is the sweetest and most precious sight to see. It makes me stop and take a minute to look at all the wonderful gifts in my life. I follow a few blogs of women who have lost babies. One of these women is on the 5 month anniversary of her sons birth and death and the other is coming upon the two year anniversary of the day her son was still born. I pray for and think about these women every day, mostly as I am rocking Lauren to sleep. They will pop in my mind and it makes me hold Lauren a little tighter.

I never want to take these moments for granted because I know all to well that life is short. I am so blessed for the gifts that God has given me.



Wise men say, only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in Love with you!

Crunchy Garlic Chicken with Italian Roasted Vegetables

This was our dinner last night. It was wonderful. I have made this chicken before but the first time it wasn't as good. This time I varied it from the original recipe and I think it was much better!

Crunchy Garlic Chicken

1/4 cup butter or margarine, melted
2 tablespoons milk
1 tablespoon chopped fresh chives
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
2 cups corn flakes, crushed (1 cup)
3 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
1/2 teaspoon paprika
6 boneless skinless chicken breasts (about 1 3/4 lb)


1.Heat oven to 425°F. Spray 13x9-inch pan with cooking spray. In shallow dish, mix 2 tablespoons of the butter, the milk, chives, salt and garlic powder.
2.In another shallow dish, mix crushed cereal, parsley and paprika. Dip chicken into milk mixture, then coat lightly and evenly with cereal mixture. Place in pan. Drizzle with remaining 2 tablespoons butter.
3.Bake uncovered 20 to 25 minutes or until juice of chicken is clear when center of thickest part is cut (170°F).



Italian Roasted Vegetables
(this is a Pampered Chef recipe. If you don't have the large bar pan a regular cookie sheet would work just fine)

1 pound unpeeled red potatoes (3-4 medium)
2 large carrots
1 large yellow summer squash
1 large zucchini
8 ounces fresh large mushrooms
1/4 cup olive oil
2 garlic cloves, pressed
2 teaspoons Italian seasoning
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper


Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 425°F. Cut potatoes in half lengthwise using Crinkle Cutter; cut each half lengthwise into 1-inch-wide wedges. cut carrots diagonally into 2-inch lengths. Cut summer squash and zucchini into 2-inch pieces. Cut mushrooms in half.

2.Place vegetables in large bowl; toss with oil. Press garlic over vegetables using Garlic Press. Sprinkle with Italian seasoning, salt and black pepper; toss to coat evenly.

3.Spread vegetables in single layer on Stoneware Bar Pan. Bake 40-45 minutes or until golden brown and crisp-tender, stirring after 20 minutes.

Red Velvet Cake

I love to cook and I love to bake so it has sort of become a tradition that I make birthday cakes. The year that my brother died I wanted to do something really special for my mom for her birthday. My great grandmother used to make a red velvet cake that was my mom's favorite. So I scoured the internet and found a recipe very similar to the one that my great grandma used and made it for my mom's birthday and the rest is history. Every year on her birthday, this is the cake that she gets. My brother Aaron also enjoys this cake so I make it for his birthday as well.

(I never said I was a cake decorator! I know it isn't the prettiest cake but it sure tastes good)

Ingredients
1/2 cup shortening
1 1/2 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp butter flavor
1 tsp vinegar
1 tsp soda
3 tbsp cocoa
2 1/2 cup sifted cake flour or 2 1/2 cup all purpose flour sifted, less 5 tbsp
1 cup buttermilk
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 oz bottle of red food coloring

Cream shortening, sugar, egss, flavors.
Make a paste of the cocoa and the food coloring; add to first mixture
Alternately add flour and buttermilk
Mix soda and vinegar in small bowl and add to batter.
Blend well. Bake in three greased and floured 9 or 10 inch cake pans for 20-25 minutes at 350
Let cool completely and cover with frosting.

Frosting
3 tbsp flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup milk
1 cup shortening
1 cup sugar
2 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp butter flavor

Cook milk, flour and salt on stove top until thick, stirring constantly. Let cool.
Cream shortening and sugar very well and add flavors. Combine with first mixture, beat very well and then ice your three layer red velvet cake!

Snow is for Eating!

Well our wonderful snow day didn’t go exactly as planned. I left work and went to visit one of my friend’s who just bought a new house. It has been a long process for them with complications on the first house that they were supposed to buy, so I really wanted to go see her new house. I made it over there just fine but on my way out of her neighborhood I got sucked into the ditch! AAGH! I came around the corner ok and then all of a sudden I just started sliding and went right into the darn ditch and buried the front of my car in the snow. Thank God that I was able to get a hold of my dad so he could come and pull me out. I was so glad that I didn’t have to call a tow truck.

So several hours later than planned I got home and we bundled up Lauren and took her outside for her very first romp in the snow! Brian put her in the snow while I was snapping away with my cameras, (yes that is plural, I have two that I use all the time) She plopped right down and I don’t think she knew quite what to think. Since it was so cold we just got a few pictures and then took her back inside, where she proceeded to eat the snow that had collected on her pants. It was so cute, she was just shoveling it in! Brian though it would be funny to get a bowl of it off the deck in the back and bring that inside for her. I think she enjoyed it until her hands got cold and she got brain freeze!